Chiropractor for camels

I had a rotten morning (back stories aplenty!) and I was about to turn to this blog and ask both of you out there,

What do you do when you don't know what to do? How do you move forward when you can barely stand?

But then, in the quiet of my empty house, and with no one here to see my tears, or care, I allowed myself to calm down enough to notice the tiny seeds of happier thoughts. 

I already had the answer.

Earlier this month I gave a Relief Society lesson at church. (Yes, my nearly seven-year stint as choir accompanist, which I joked was the one calling that insured I would not sing in the choir, has ended. But they still got me: now I have leadership meetings during choir practice.)

Anyway, as part of the lesson I dissected one of my favorite passages of scripture, 2 Nephi 4:17-28, which I long ago labeled in the margin, "How Nephi overcame guilt to find peace." Most recently I added the word "discouragement" above guilt. In teeny tiny letters I also wrote, "I love this passage! 9/16/97." I don't recall the circumstances that time, but whenever I revisit that page on hard days, my little note inspires me to internalize those scriptures once more.

I consider Nephi a valiant, faithful force for good. He is a hero to me. So to see that he also struggled, but overcame, makes him inspiringly relatable.  I should point out this scriptural interpretation is purely mine, that the beauty of the scriptures is how they can speak to you personally.

All the same, let me share the formula I have learned from these verses:

First we see that Nephi is discouraged. Wallowing in self-pity, even. His father just died, and Nephi is surely overwhelmed.

17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great ^agoodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O ^bwretched man that I am! Yea, my heart^csorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

 18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily ^abeset me.

 19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have ^atrusted.

1. Desire to feel better.

20 My God hath been my ^asupport; he hath led me through mine ^bafflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

 21 He hath filled me with his ^alove, even unto the ^bconsumingof my flesh.

 22 He hath confounded mine ^aenemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

 23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me^aknowledge by ^bvisions in the night-time.

2. Count your blessings. Recognize God's hand in your life.

24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty ^aprayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

 25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been^acarried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

3. Realize your God-given strengths and your capacity to develop more.

26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath ^avisited men in so much ^bmercy, ^cwhy should my ^dheart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

 27 And why should I ^ayield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to ^btemptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my ^cpeace and afflict my soul? Why am I ^dangry because of mine enemy?

 28 Awake, my soul! No longer ^adroop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the ^benemy of my soul.

4. Recommit to move forward and do your very best, knowing God will help you. 

34 O Lord, I have ^atrusted in thee, and I will ^btrust in thee forever. I will not put my ^ctrust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his ^dtrust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

 35 Yea, I know that God will give ^aliberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ^bask ^cnot amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the^drock of my ^erighteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.

I am grateful for the scriptures. Nitro-glycerin Samuel (you know, explosive unless handled correctly) surprised me this week with his sweet, unbidden observation, "Heavenly Father gave us the scriptures because he wants us to learn." And learn and learn again.