This just in ...

Another real-time post. Elise, who can sometimes (sometimes?) be a little overbearing just cornered James and asked, "What game do you want to play?"

His response: "Ignore James."

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While I'm at it, here's a week of laughs that I intended to post earlier this month when they happened, but didn't.

1. Kyle turned on iTunes on the computer in the same room where I was visiting with family. "Kyle," I asked, "Could you please turn that down?"

"But Mo-om (all of you know that two-syllable delivery), it's already up as high as it will go."

Teenage logic at work!

2. Emma was slow to wake one morning. "Emma," I called from her doorway. "It's time to get up."

She lifted herself up on her elbows. "What's a snork?"

"A snork?"

"Yeah. I just had one in my dream."

"Well, I don't know what a snork is. You need to get up. Come on, Emma, it's time to get up!"

"I know," she said with airy indignity, "that's what I'm doing in my dream!" And she rolled over and pulled the blanket tighter.

3. I took the kids to the grocery store's offering of free pictures with Santa. Kyle was with Jeff, and Emma considered herself too old, so I did the outing while she was at ballet class so as not to embarrass her. Later I told her she should have come with us, that there were several older students there, too. One woman waited in line in front of us, and she didn't even have any kids with her.

"Really?" Emma mulled this over. "How old was she?"

"My age."

Afterward Elise confided in the other room, "Mom, that woman was NOT 38. She was only 30."

4. I helped James and his friend Jacob build a fort of blankets and chairs, then I delivered them lunch inside. When James announced, "Mom, you are the nicest mom I've ever met!" I was riding high.

While nibbling on my own lunch I heard: (James) "My mom is 70 percent nice." (Jacob) "Oh, yeah? My mom is a thousand percent nice."

Should I over-analyze a kindergartener's grasp of math?

AND FINALLY ...

5. I was tickled when Samuel recognized a favorite book character in artwork at the library. "Look, Mom! It's Day-bid." (from David Shannon's "No, David") Then Samuel added, "Sett-o down!"

I had to look it up when we got home. Sure enough, that's the text. "Settle down!"