1. I experimented with a slow camera shutter speed to show motion on the merry-go-round. (The green and white forms are children running and pushing.) Samuel is in the center, above the white mass. Elise, by some fluke, is the only face in focus. She thought that was cool!
2. You wouldn't know it by this initial show of fear, but Samuel loved the merry-go-round so much he wouldn't get off.
3. I love this shot for how Samuel's face is in sharper focus relative to the spinning around him. (Look at his fingers and feet!) I also like how the stripes on his shirt mimic the spinning grooves.
Spin Cycle
A mother I know, a stylishly grounded woman whose exquisite paintings expand my thinking, used this word to describe the realm of child-rearing: Perpetual.
Meals, dishes, laundry, carpools, homework, conflict resolution. Rinse, repeat.
Perpetual. It has a lofty connotation. It is not the word I thought of first. Tedious, routine, monotonous maybe. Overwhelming, overbearing, draining sometimes.
We had to abandon the merry-go-round sooner than expected on Monday because the friends we drove to the park, a mother and her two daughters, were ready to leave. This did not sit well with James. My normally mellow 7-year-old threw the biggest tantrum known to man -- made worse because I could not shrink into anonymity. Next, at the grocery store, where I drove my neighbor too, Samuel threw a huge fit. What gives?
Rinse, repeat.
I have been bogged down lately in a swamp of mothering discouragement. I am exhausted. I'm lonely. I often feel like I'm spinning out of control, not able to stay on top of anything (although my laundry pile would grant an impressive "king of the hill" perch).
The spinning of the merry-go-round -- almost hypnotically tranquil to watch that day, with its soundtrack of laughing, happy children -- stays with me.
These things are perpetual, too:
• Seasons
• Sunrises and sunsets
• My daily choice to put a positive spin on my current role, because I get to have these precious children forever.
4 comments:
You always bring such a positive perspective. I so enjoy reading your blog because you are so real. And as to this point:
*I have been bogged down lately in a swamp of mothering discouragement. I am exhausted. I'm lonely. I often feel like I'm spinning out of control, not able to stay on top of anything (although my laundry pile would grant an impressive "king of the hill" perch).*
I raise my hand, wildly wave it and say, "Me too, me too!" If worldly success could be counted in loads of laundry, meals cooked, messes cleaned, rows weeded, arguments resolved, tantrums ignored, and children hugged and kissed, I think we'd make the Fortune 500.
You are such a beautiful writer! And I'm not just saying that because I'm biased or flattered. I am super flattered!
I hear ya! I love summer but it gets to be too much perpetual motion sometimes. The world does close in when you have that many kids to care for 24-7. It is relentless! But I know your kids, so I know that you're doing a great job.
Me too Me too! Today I fear I handled it all horribly also. But reading you are going through the same thing will help me remember I am not alone and maybe I am not doing that horrible of a job keeping up with everything.
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