I bombed big-time in the mothering department this week.
James' teacher highlights a different MVP (most valuable person) each week, with one aspect of that celebration being a parent letter that she reads to the class.
I put a lot of thought into what to write for James' letter. I felt he wouldn't want the class to be bored, and I also thought he would feel uncomfortable if I wrote a gushing missive singing his angelic praises. So, since he's always asking to hear stories about himself, I took that route for the letter. I left out certain fun memories, such as how we called baby James "Ernie" for his spiky black hair, knowing the propensity of 2nd graders to repeat a nickname. I carefully chose stories that painted James' playful, witty nature. It was fun to reminisce as I wrote.
I smiled when I got this email from his teacher before school got out:
Darling letter! The kids loved it!
Mission accomplished! (?) Well ...
Elise was the first through the door. "Hey, did James say anything about his letter?" I asked her.
She hemmed and hawed. She related walking past James' classroom and seeing the teacher reading, the kids laughing and James up front not laughing. (Wow! All that in a one-second trip past an open doorway.)
James was glum when he dropped his backpack in the entryway. He told me the kids had laughed at him. He didn't care for my word distinction. "Not
at you,
with you." I was crushed that I'd hurt him, and puzzled that I had misread him so badly. Time to dust off my old motto, "Moms never win."
Got any ideas how I can make it up to him? For fun, guess which retelling of James' life was most offensive to him. Leave your guess in a comment.
Thank you all for being kind to James and helping him enjoy being in school with you! I am glad you are able to get to know him this year, because I think he's a pretty special kid.
You probably already know that James loves soccer and basketball, that he likes to skateboard and ride his bike. You may already know that he is the fourth child in our family. He has an older brother, two older sisters and one younger brother. One of his sisters, Elise, also attends Morgan Elementary.
I thought it would be fun to share with you in this letter some stories about James that he may not even know himself -- because they happened when he was very young.
James was a very calm baby, which didn't prepare me very well for all the mischief he caused when he was a toddler. He made lots and lots of messes. He created "snow scenes" for his cars and trucks -- with flour from the pantry. He threw rocks into the toilet. He also shook cleanser (the powder you use to scrub the sink) into the flour bucket. I remember all these things because they happened the same afternoon! While I was cleaning one mess he was off making another. And always with an impish grin.
James was also an escape artist, especially at church. If we closed our eyes for a prayer, he was gone! One time he left the bench in the church (without his dad noticing) and made it all the way up to the organ (where I was playing) so he could press the buttons, too. Oops!
You know the table in the cafeteria that has the ranch dressing, ketchup and other condiments? When James was a toddler that would have been his dream meal. He loved sour cream by itself, mayonnaise by itself, and plain ketchup sandwiches. Once I opened the refrigerator to find bite marks on the stick of butter. Can you guess who did it?
James has always had a funny sense of humor, saying things you wouldn't expect from a little kid. I was changing his diaper when he shouted at me, "Don't touch me! You're not my doctor!"
Another time his sister Elise kept hounding him to play a game with her. "What game do you want to play, James?" she asked over and over. He told her the game he wanted to play was called "Ignore Elise."
James has always loved to go camping, going on his first trip at five months old. We laughed one campout when he was 3, because he never got the word marshmallow quite right. For weeks afterward he told people about sleeping in a tent and roasting mushrooms. Hmm.
I bet James does remember this next story, because it happened during kindergarten. One morning he was so crabby about going to school that I decided not to fight him on it and to just keep him home. But I told him that he needed to rest on his bed. He eventually got tired of that and figured he'd go to school after all. How many of you have ever had to check in late at the office computer? That's what we did when I brought James to school. I didn't know he was aware of the system, but he looked over my shoulder as I typed and said, "For the reason, put LAZY." What a kid!
James wanted me to tell you that he is glad to have so many friends in class this year. Thank you again for helping second grade be so great!
3 comments:
I agree with James' teacher. I always love to read whatever you've written.
I'm going to go with the diaper changing story as most offensive to James.
My 2nd choice would be the ketchup, mayo, sour cream diet expose'.
I love it! James must have been mad about either the rocks in the toilet or the diaper story. I'm interested in the mushroom story. Maybe you WERE roasting shrooms and are just trying to cover up your drug use. LOL! The second graders would have loved that. Maybe it's more of a story for red ribbon week. hee hee. Anyway, I thought your letter was perfect and highly entertaining. You could make it up to James at Arctic Circle, I bet! Good luck!
I think the letter is great. One day he'll appreciate your efforts - at least that is what I keep telling myself about my mothering techniques. Hmmmm, if I were to guess, I think it is the diaper story. :) As for making it up to him... In our family, everything can be solved with a trip to Yogo Togo. :)
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