I have a problem I didn't even know could exist.
My 4-year-old seems afraid of Jesus.
It has been hard to get Samuel to church ever since we switched to the 9 a.m. schedule (he is NOT a morning person), but this last month has been especially trying. On Easter he got quite scared when his Primary class watched a video about the Crucifixion. A Primary leader brought him to me during the class.
Shortly afterward I saw firsthand how fear affects his little body. His preschool class went to a field trip to the fire station. Once we entered the fire engine bay, Samuel was so scared the sirens would go off, that he became rigid and shook uncontrollably. I took him home right away.
Then, our home teacher came to visit. He opened up the Ensign to start his message. Samuel was on my lap. I felt him immediately stiffen when an image of the wounded, but resurrected Christ peeked through the home teacher's fingers on the page. Samuel ran into his room.
The next night for family home evening I thought of how I could help Samuel. I found a picture depicting Jesus using carpentry tools alongside Joseph. I found another picture of Samuel doing the same alongside his father. So I started our little lesson. Samuel was on to me right away and bolted into his room. Jeff and I talked to the other children in Samuel's absence, explaining his challenge and asking them to be sensitive and pray for Samuel. Someone thought it would be good to nonchalantly put many pictures of Jesus throughout the house where Samuel could see them. "Like by the milk," James offered. (silly boy!)
Emma and I went to Samuel's room to tell him family home evening was done. He visibly relaxed.
Samuel can't articulate how he feels. I have really tried to not ask him leading questions such as, "Did that scare you?" He was obviously very, very affected by the video. Later witnessing his similar physical reactions at the fire station and with the home teacher is quite telling. Yet for all the tenderness in his heart, Samuel can't separate the two: his fearful response to what happened to Jesus, and Jesus himself.
I credit Jeff's blessing to Samuel with helping our little boy do better at church Sunday. I was encouraged. Today, however, I took Samuel to Deseret Book because I thought it would be helpful if he chose a new picture of Jesus for his room. He turned his head away from the display. He didn't want anything to do with a picture of Christ. He did choose a picture of the temple, however, and I hope I can eventually help him associate Jesus that way.
I know this is something that will take time. But it absolutely breaks my heart that he is going through this. He is too young to bear such a weight. Please, if you have any thoughts of how I can supplement my prayers to help Samuel, I would be so grateful.
7 comments:
I'm not sure but here's an idea. Perhaps during the day when Samuel is near the computer playing turn on a Mormon message and just watch it yourself. Perhaps he'll be interested to see what is playing on the computer and at the end of the message perhaps just say that you liked it. Maybe if you watch another one the next day you could once again say you liked it but add one sentence. I'm thankful for ____ (the principle taught). Maybe on the third day you could add a sentence that you are grateful that Jesus loves you or that he helps you with that principle shared. I know that when I have the messages playing as I'm working on a lesson or just want a pick-me-up that the children crowd around to see what is playing or who is talking on the computer. It sounds like you are doing all the right things though--you are a great mom.
Oh Jenni, that is heartbreaking. I think Tressa is on to something by letting Samuel observe and be in the background (safe) to your interactions with media and pictures of Christ. I would think Samuel will step forward for a closer look when he feels safe enough. I do think it will be baby steps for a long time first. That's me from the sidelines never having experienced your situation. I'll pray for him and talk to my children about doing the same.
There are so many and varied challenges in parenthood! I don't have any advice, but we'll be thinking of you. Life is long...he has time.
I just remembered that one of the most effective helps for my children has been
1. to hear their siblings praying for them to overcome whatever problem they are facing.
2. to pray for the needed blessing in their own prayers.
Oh shoot! That is tough. I'll have to think on that one.
That's a sad one! I hope he is doing better. He'll probably out grow it. What about books with pictures of Jesus more done cartoon like? Keep us posted how it goes!
That's a sad one! I hope he is doing better. He'll probably out grow it. What about books with pictures of Jesus more done cartoon like? Keep us posted how it goes!
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