Mom's commercial wish list

Should anyone ask, these are the items I'd like to see cross over from industrial use to the home:

1. Lockable toilet paper dispensers. You know, like the Cormatic boxes you see in public restrooms everywhere? (Yes, I know the brand name!) I'm the only one who replaces toilet paper anyway and having the white stuff under lock and key would greatly help my sanity. My home is filled with little Robin Hoods taking from one bathroom to another. One (make that I) can stock a new roll in the morning, only to sit down later and too late find it gone. Hmm ... I'd even settle for the Forest Services style of a big metal bar and deadbolt.

Other items for the bathroom:

2. Sensor flushing toilets.

3. Automatic faucet shut-offs. 

4. Car-wash showers. Take clothes off at one end (naturally equipped with strongly magnetic hampers), proceed through water cycle, then buffing and air drying. Exit. No towels to pick up.

5. But if I can't have a car-wash shower, a towel check-out would be the next best thing. You know, like at the gym (well, at least the gym of my college days -- I haven't been since). Or, like the way doctors get a new set of scrubs from a machine after depositing an old pair. 

6. Speaking of college, I'd really like a milk dispenser from the cafeteria. If I rigged it just right maybe Samuel couldn't lift it up to his mouth the way he does gallons from the fridge. ("Don't look at me, Mom.")

7. Pens on chains at the bank. My home is the Bermuda Triangle of writing utensils. I'd attach a unit (with extra long chain) to the piano, forever banishing the maddening task of finding a pen before my students arrive. But pens needn't be the only chain gang. How about a chain connecting my hairbrush to the bathroom counter, and scissors to the desk drawer? Oooh, the possibilities are endless!

8. Automatic sliding doors. Why should grocery stores have all the fun? If I had a nickel for every time I holler "Shut the door!" I bet I could afford this.

9. Specialty adhesives. How about glue that sticks to every part of a child's art project but the child? While we're at it, how about fruit stickers that stick only to the fruit, or at least do not stick to the floor, where they invariably land sticky-side down. Better yet, how about a populace that knows a pear from an apple so we don't need fruit stickers in the first place?

10. Windshield wipers for windows, complete with cleaning fluid dispenser. Ooh, yeah.

11. Conveyor belts. Everywhere!

Well, I probably could think of more, but I'm off to clean up after my family (a quip about ovens could fit here nicely).

Tell me, what industrial items would you like to have in your home?

Happy Mother's Day to all the women who inspire me!